Celebrating life stories...



This memorial is sponsored by:

Robin Coin

Memorial created 12-11-2011 by
Robin Coin
Courtney Cherese Coin
July 28 1988 - November 8 2011


The Darkness” page of this Memorial site has by far been the most difficult and painful page for me to create.  “The Darkness” is a way for me to express how serious mental illness really is and how it can impact a life.  This page will explain multiple problems that Courtney suffered with.  I am opening up this part of Courtney’s life to help everyone, including myself understand how Courtney’s life evolved.

I am presenting this information with a tremendous amount of respect for Courtney!  It is not my intention to disrespect or cast dark shadows on her in any way.   “The Darkness” will show that mental illness impacts people internally and externally.  The reality is this was part of Courtney’s life and it caused her death.

You will read about multiple diagnoses Courtney suffered from.  Courtney did not ask for the diagnoses and did not wish to become ill.  I will include excerpts from Courtney’s personal journals.  This is to shine some light on how her thoughts were as she traveled through this ugly journey. 

Courtney was a beautiful person inside and out and had an intelligence level that I was never able to keep up with.  Please use this page as a learning tool and maybe someone else may be helped in the future if we all recognize and understand the seriousness of mental illness. 

This disease stole my child’s life from her, me and all of you that loved her. 

Robin Coin




BPD is a condition in which people have long term patterns of unstable or turbulent emotions, such as feelings about themselves and others.  These inner experiences often cause them to take impulsive actions and have chaotic relationships.



A complex mental disorder that makes it difficult to:  Tell the difference between real and unreal experiences.  Think logically.  Have normal emotional responses and behave normally in social situations.



Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps.  Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods. 

True clinical depression is a mood disorder in which feelings of sadness, loss, anger, or frustration interfere with everyday life for weeks or longer.



Self harm is a way of expressing and dealing with deep distress and emotional pain.  Hurting yourself makes you feel better.  In fact, you may feel like you have no choice.  Injuring yourself is the only way you know how to cope with feelings like sadness, self-loathing, emptiness, guilt and rage.

The problem is that the relief that comes from self-harming doesn’t last very long.  It’s like slapping on a bandaid when what you really need are stitches.  It may temporarily stop the bleeding, but it doesn’t fix the underlying injury and it also creates its own problems.

You try to keep what you are doing secret.  Maybe you feel ashamed or maybe you just think that no one would understand.  But hiding who you are and what you feel is a heavy burden.  Ultimately, the secrecy and guilt effects your relationships with your friends and family members and the way you feel about yourself.  It can make you feel even more lonely, worthless and trapped.

*For more information visit  http://helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm*





Suicide rates in the United States are highest in the spring

Over half of all suicides are completed with a firearm

For young people 15-24 years old, suicide is the third leading cause of death

The strongest risk factor for suicide is depression

An average of one person dies by suicide every 14.2 minutes in the U.S.

There are four male suicides for every female suicide

There are three female suicide attempts for each male attempt






Over 90% of the people who die by suicide have a mental illness at the time of their death and they are not thinking clearly, and they usually are experiencing excruciating emotional pain.

They are not weak – they are ill – just like people with cancer are ill.  So the word “weakness” should never be uttered in association with suicide. 

Clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and other mental illnesses can cause people to do many things that they would never do if they were not ill, including dying by suicide.  So “weakness” has NOTHING to do with suicide!

Using an incorrect word like “weakness” perpetuates the strong stigma associated with suicide.

In uttering such an ignorant word in association with suicide is extremely disrespectful and hurtful to suicide survivors.

**If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, call 1-800-SUICIDE**



Please sign the guestbook for Courtney by clicking here

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